Monday 14 January 2013
Megaspiration: A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A........
Megaspiration: A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A........: A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A........ I promised that my next post will be titled 'the anti-cancer mind and the cancer prone personality' but I...
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A........
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A........
I promised that my next post will be titled 'the anti-cancer mind and the cancer prone personality' but I assure you it's a work in progress. This blogging thing is not child's play. You have to research and I don't like to read that much funny enough, I just prefer to think and write. But all the same, it's coming.
I've decided to give regular updates on my health for anyone who cares to know now or in the future. I really have nowhere else to chanel my frustrations.
As it appears, people are giving up on me even before I give up on myself. I at least made an effort to seek out my available options of treatment which means that I want to prolong my life to any extent possible or beat this disease. But everywhere I turn, it's the same response and attitude.
First, I reached out to a 'charity organisation' attached to a governor and best they could tell me was there was nothing they could do since it had metastasized. In other words, 'we only help the living not the dying'. One down, I reached out to another one that has a very bright colour through an affiliate of their's who happens to be my friend. I reached out to this same friend during my first ordeal and she told me categorically that the foundation will not assist me if I choose not to be treated here in Nigeria. She even gave me the option of having surgery done in India and coming back and the foundation will foot the bill for the drugs. I refused and pressed on till I hit my mark and got the treatment I needed. Now this time around, I have to write to the foundation myself requesting for bla, bla, bla all on my own because all of a sudden she's in another department.
Previous letters I wrote to a few 'first ladies' here and there yielded nothing. Am I upset? Well, you guess? A country that has no value for life and a doctor and supposed friend dealing with me in a very cold hearted manner is enough to make me vent but how does that help me? My point exactly!
As it is now, I'm practically waiting for whenever to happen. And when that happens, it will be because I couldn't afford the treatment and not that the treatment didn't work. As it stands, I still have a chance of surviving this ordeal because its only one area of my lung that's invaded. I have no distant metastasis anywhere else. If I stay on then the cells will go on to invade my lung tissue and I will basically choke to death. Breathing is already a challenge. Am I scared? (Thinking long and hard) yea, scared of losing my soul especially and scared of not fulfilling my one desire. Its even more scary when people pray for me, I feel like they've given up on me too. So it's left with me and my WILL to live. This is a very lonely sickness I tell you. Calls stop coming, people stop checking up on you and when you eventually leave, it's all about eulogies, fb pages in your honour, months of grieving and the rest is history. You can't hold it against anyone because it's human nature. God chooses those He wants to help you. But just know that when you hear 'charity organisation or foundation' especially the ones with nice looking offices, they have different aims and objectives. Apart from charity organisations, I've often wondered what the politics behind breast cancer is. Women world over wear pink ribbons and raise millions of dollars to fund research that could potentially bring about a cure. Yet, the best that can come out of it is drugs like Avastin, Herceptin and others I don't know of yet. The first drug is for treating metastic cancers like mine while the second drug treats hormonal responsive breast cancers (I will explain later). Both which are just complimentary drugs are wickedly (if there's a word like that) expensive. So what's the aim really? Drugs that go for as much as $2000 per shot (depending on the dose). I think It's time to stop racing for a cure. I know in organised societies, govt funds these drugs so its accessible to whoever needs it. But here, its straight out of your pocket. My doctor has told me I will need this Avastin as a complimentary therapy to the cocktail I will be on to enhance its effectiveness. I will need 6 shots of it (all things being equal) and @ $2,000 per shot? That's my death sentence right there. When I think about these things, its enough to robb me of sleep and peace. But I'm no watchman, I will sleep and stay balanced in all of this. I just want people to understand what this disease (its character) really does to people and what young, once agile, mobile and bubbly women like me go through day to day without aid because I only wish this condition on satan himself. If you know how to pray, pray harder now for good health and if you have it, be grateful and never complain. What will I not give to have my life back?
Masi Sita Hanum
http://www.facebook.com/Myperspinktive
I promised that my next post will be titled 'the anti-cancer mind and the cancer prone personality' but I assure you it's a work in progress. This blogging thing is not child's play. You have to research and I don't like to read that much funny enough, I just prefer to think and write. But all the same, it's coming.
I've decided to give regular updates on my health for anyone who cares to know now or in the future. I really have nowhere else to chanel my frustrations.
As it appears, people are giving up on me even before I give up on myself. I at least made an effort to seek out my available options of treatment which means that I want to prolong my life to any extent possible or beat this disease. But everywhere I turn, it's the same response and attitude.
First, I reached out to a 'charity organisation' attached to a governor and best they could tell me was there was nothing they could do since it had metastasized. In other words, 'we only help the living not the dying'. One down, I reached out to another one that has a very bright colour through an affiliate of their's who happens to be my friend. I reached out to this same friend during my first ordeal and she told me categorically that the foundation will not assist me if I choose not to be treated here in Nigeria. She even gave me the option of having surgery done in India and coming back and the foundation will foot the bill for the drugs. I refused and pressed on till I hit my mark and got the treatment I needed. Now this time around, I have to write to the foundation myself requesting for bla, bla, bla all on my own because all of a sudden she's in another department.
Previous letters I wrote to a few 'first ladies' here and there yielded nothing. Am I upset? Well, you guess? A country that has no value for life and a doctor and supposed friend dealing with me in a very cold hearted manner is enough to make me vent but how does that help me? My point exactly!
As it is now, I'm practically waiting for whenever to happen. And when that happens, it will be because I couldn't afford the treatment and not that the treatment didn't work. As it stands, I still have a chance of surviving this ordeal because its only one area of my lung that's invaded. I have no distant metastasis anywhere else. If I stay on then the cells will go on to invade my lung tissue and I will basically choke to death. Breathing is already a challenge. Am I scared? (Thinking long and hard) yea, scared of losing my soul especially and scared of not fulfilling my one desire. Its even more scary when people pray for me, I feel like they've given up on me too. So it's left with me and my WILL to live. This is a very lonely sickness I tell you. Calls stop coming, people stop checking up on you and when you eventually leave, it's all about eulogies, fb pages in your honour, months of grieving and the rest is history. You can't hold it against anyone because it's human nature. God chooses those He wants to help you. But just know that when you hear 'charity organisation or foundation' especially the ones with nice looking offices, they have different aims and objectives. Apart from charity organisations, I've often wondered what the politics behind breast cancer is. Women world over wear pink ribbons and raise millions of dollars to fund research that could potentially bring about a cure. Yet, the best that can come out of it is drugs like Avastin, Herceptin and others I don't know of yet. The first drug is for treating metastic cancers like mine while the second drug treats hormonal responsive breast cancers (I will explain later). Both which are just complimentary drugs are wickedly (if there's a word like that) expensive. So what's the aim really? Drugs that go for as much as $2000 per shot (depending on the dose). I think It's time to stop racing for a cure. I know in organised societies, govt funds these drugs so its accessible to whoever needs it. But here, its straight out of your pocket. My doctor has told me I will need this Avastin as a complimentary therapy to the cocktail I will be on to enhance its effectiveness. I will need 6 shots of it (all things being equal) and @ $2,000 per shot? That's my death sentence right there. When I think about these things, its enough to robb me of sleep and peace. But I'm no watchman, I will sleep and stay balanced in all of this. I just want people to understand what this disease (its character) really does to people and what young, once agile, mobile and bubbly women like me go through day to day without aid because I only wish this condition on satan himself. If you know how to pray, pray harder now for good health and if you have it, be grateful and never complain. What will I not give to have my life back?
Masi Sita Hanum
http://www.facebook.com/Myperspinktive
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